By Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval
The Power of Nice: chapters 1 to 3
The Six Powers of Nice Principles
For all those who want to implement the Power of Nice into their lives, the authors
Explain six Power of Nice principles that, when followed, will transform how you
Work and live. Here’s a summary of them:
1. Positive impressions are like seeds
Any time you do something nice for someone, it is much like planting a seed.
These seeds, with time, begin to swell and grow — most often, without you
Even being aware of it. And almost with mathematical certainty, you will
Begin to see the fruits of these seeds creating many opportunities for you
Down the road.
2. You Never Know
When dishing out your pleasantries, it doesn’t pay to be selective. It’s not
Just your boss’s wife with whom you should be nice, you should make it a
Habit to be nice to everyone because you never know who they might be
3. People Change
Much like you don’t know who someone might be, you never know who they
Might become. If at your office you are only cordial with your co-workers and
Superiors but not to the guy who takes out the garbage because to you they
“Have no power”, then you’re limiting yourself. People change. You never
know who that person may be in five, ten, or twenty years from now.
4. Nice must be automatic
You can’t fake niceness. People have an amazing ability to ferret out
Deception, so don’t do it. Being nice must be a part of you. So make sure you
Practice it on a regular basis. At the shopping centre, with your mailman, in
The checkout line. Practice being truly sincere and kind at all times, then it
Will become a part of you.
5. Negative impressions are like germs
If you think that you treating someone badly because “they don’t matter” have
No ill-effect, think again. Your unkindness can spread like a bad case of the
Flu to others who are in ear or eye shot of your rudeness. For example, how
do you feel about that someone who you notice is being rude to a waitress?
Don’t their actions make you think less of them, even though they hadn’t?
Directed them at you?
6. You will know
Just because no one might have noticed your rudeness or bad behaviour
Toward someone, or that you’ll never see that person again so no one will
Know, remember that you will know. Being nice isn’t about constantly
Carrying around a forced smile or scheming about what you’ll be able to get
From a person if you show them kindness. It’s about living it completely in
Your everyday life.
Bake a Bigger Pie
We are taught that the best way to get ahead in life and to find success is to take as
Much as you can for yourself. We focus on beating the competition and grabbing
our share of the pie first so that we’re not left with the crumbs. Living in a free market
Society seems to propagate this. The authors response? Bake a bigger pie.
This is what Covey refers to as Win-Win — finding that solution where all can
Benefit. The beauty of this is that when you help others to get a slice of the pie,
What often is the case is that the pie ends up being bigger for both of you — bigger
than it would have been if you just took it for yourself. This is true synergy and can
Only happen when you work in cooperation with others.
The Power of Nice: Chapters 4 – 6
Sweeten the Deal
Research done by such notable psychologists as David G. Myers and Ruut
Veenhoven have shown that people who are in a good mood are more likely to help
others. And there’s nothing better to raise someone’s mood than with a sweet word or
gesture.
Simple acts such as offering a client candy during a presentation or engaging in a little
humorous banter with your co-workers can do a lot to improve another’s mood and
create an environment much more conducive to open cooperation.
If you make the effort to “sweeten” your surroundings with smiles, gestures, humour
and small gifts, you will see that these “little” things end up returning back to you —
many times over. By small and simple things, great things happen.
Help Your Enemies
Turning the cheek is probably one of the more difficult things to do in life. It’s
human nature to want to get even with those who have wronged us. But in
actuality, helping your “enemies” can become very valuable to you.
Much of life isn’t strictly Me vs. You. We live in a world that requires that we
cooperate and work in teams with people. And although we might be technically
“competing” with someone else, it’s cooperation that beats out competition 9 times out
10. When you can creatively figure out how to work with your competition, you open
up the door to a synergistic . Cooperation fosters creativity and creativity is always
improved when multiple heads are involved.
Tell the Truth
Honesty is essential to success in any undertaking. With the fabulous examples of
WorldCom and Enron, we see the real merit behind dishonesty — that there is none.
Telling the truth is one of the best ways to get ahead in the world. Because trust is so
important in any relationship — be it personal or professional — if you have someone’s
complete trust, your circle of influence with that person will have no bounds. In the work
place this translates to greater responsibilities and ultimately greater positions.
The Power of Nice: Chapters 7 – 10
“Yes” Your Way to the Top
When I first started this chapter, I thought the authors were originally
supporting being a “Yes Person”, a person who doesn’t know how to say “no”. But after
reading a bit deeper, what they are actually recommending is maintaining a positive in
all your actions and relations. Because being positive can have a huge impact on your
entire life — from your productivity to how you get ahead in life.
Part of being positive is assuming people have the best of intentions for you. Even
though you know that they are trying to knock you down, if you approach such criticism
as constructive it will keep your mood high and disarm the person giving it. The example
that they use in the book is, say someone tells you that they hate what you’re wearing.
You could respond in one of two ways: Say something nasty back or thank them for
being concerned about your appearance. Despite their intentions, you need to train
yourself to interpret each encounter as something positive. This will have huge positive
effects on your life.
Shut Up and Listen
Great communicators are not always the ones who are eloquent of speech. Most
great communicators are that way because they are in fact, great listeners. If we are
constantly going on and on about our accomplishments and our opinions on some matter
we will never understand the other person. We may be good speakers, but without the
ability to listen, we’re poor communicators.
Effective listening also requires “putting your head on the other person’s shoulders”
and listening with the intent to understand. This is what empathy means. When people
realize that you truly understand them, they’ll be so much more willing to open up to
you.
Create a Nicer Universe
There are different ways to get ahead in life. Being ruthless is one of them although
it’s fortunately not the only one. What the intent of this book is and what the
authors hope that you get out of it is to realize that being kind and considerate is
another way — what they feel to be an even more effective way — of achieving
success. Not only will being nice get you further ahead in your career but you will
also feel better about yourself on top of it.
Realize that even the smallest action of kindness can have a multiplier effect that
can cause miracles to happen — in your job, your relationships, and with yourself.
These small acts indeed help you to become healthier, wealthier, and most
importantly happier.
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